Some people keep their goofy, silly, ridiculous behavior to themselves. That’s a perfectly valid life strategy…but I am not that person. When I experience what I call a “sitcom moment” (often self-inflicted), my first instinct is to share it. I think it’s important to be able to laugh at myself, and I’m happy to invite others to join me.
So…about getting my presents wrapped.
The Plan
On Wednesday evening, I posted about my plans for my vacation days, and then decided it was time to deal with the fact that my living room was starting to look like an Amazon warehouse.
I should mention that I’m not a huge fan of wrapping presents the traditional way, so I’m a gift bag and tissue paper kind of girl. Quick, easy, and festive.
So I turned on The Man Who Invented Christmas and started opening boxes.
The First Snag
When I had everything unboxed and organized, I paused the movie and went to get my huge collection of Christmas bags out of the guest room closet…
…and they weren’t there. Everything else was there: birthday bags, tissue paper, gift labels, actual wrapping paper, etc. The Christmas bags, however, were nowhere to be found.
After a few minutes staring blankly into my box of supplies in hopes that they would suddenly materialize, I summoned a vague memory of telling myself last year that I needed to hit the after Christmas sales because I had finally run out of bags.
Oops.
The First Solution
Easy enough. I had four rolls of wrapping paper, and I reminded myself that I am a grown woman who is perfectly capable of traditional wrapping, even though it isn’t my preference. So I set up a folding table in front of the couch, assembled my materials, made a cup of tea, and turned the movie back on.
The Second Snag
That’s when I realized I hadn’t gotten the scissors. And that was the point where things really started to veer into sitcom territory.
You know how there’s the one thing that you’re always losing? The thing you can’t seem to remember to put back in its proper place, so you’re constantly trying to remember where you left it?
For me, that thing is my scissors. Almost every single day, I need them for something, and so I have to hunt for them. Sometimes they’re in the living room, sometimes they’re in the kitchen, sometimes they’re in the guest room, or my bedroom, or the basement…you get the idea. I might find them in a drawer, or under a stack of mail, or on top of the DVD player. Every once in a while, they’re actually on my desk in my home office, which is where they should be. That happens so rarely that it’s usually the last place I look. Then I take them into the room where I need them, use them, put them down somewhere, and promptly forget where they are.
Anyway, I paused the movie again and went on the hunt. Typically, it takes me about five minutes to find them. Occasionally ten.
Wednesday night, however, I spent half an hour searching with zero success. That’s when I said to myself, “Amanda, you could have gone to Walgreens and bought another pair of scissors by now.”
The Second Solution
Walgreens always has my back. When I arrived at the store and went to the appropriate aisle, not only did they have quality scissors, but they were on sale. That’s when I had a moment of clarity. Inspiration. Genius. If I have a pair of scissors in every room in the house, I’ll never have to search more than one room.
It’s an example of what one of my friends calls “Perfect Amanda Logic”. (If you’re laughing at me by now, I’m with you.) At any rate, I bought six pairs of scissors. Problem solved.
Back home, I made more tea, turned the movie back on, and got to work. Soon I had about a dozen adequately wrapped presents and was feeling pretty pleased with myself…
The Third Snag
…until I realized that I had forgotten to label them as I went and had no idea what was in most of them. I was certain about three, but the others…
The Third Solution
You probably know where this is going. I unwrapped the rest of the gifts, trying (and mostly failing) not to tear the paper so I could reuse it, and wrote out labels for everything. No worries.
The Fourth Snag
By the time I was finished unwrapping and labeling, I discovered that I had somehow managed to misplace my new “living room” scissors. (I’m starting to think there’s some kind of paranormal force at work here.) So I congratulated myself on my forethought, got the dining room scissors (You see how my brilliant long term solution is already breaking down?), and got back to work.
Then, of course, I ran out of tape.
The Fourth Solution
Back to Walgreens! Ignore the puzzled look from the employee who had already given me a puzzled look when I bought all the scissors! Find tape! Grab tape (get extra)! Head for the counter, through the aisle of…
…Christmas bags. Lots and lots of Christmas bags. That I could have just bought the first time.
Cue a laughing fit in the middle of the store.
The Outcome
The presents are ready, The Man Who Invented Christmas was a great movie, and I have enough bags for next year.
The living room scissors have yet to materialize, but I did find the original lost pair this morning.
Roll credits.
(December 2019 Update: I am down to two pairs of scissors. I have no idea what happened to all the others.)
Join me in the comments to share your own sitcom moments and ridiculous behavior…or just make fun of mine. 🙂
This is too funny because it sounds so much like me! I’m always losing my scissors. Last year I put scissors, a pen and tape in a Ziploc bag and keep it inside the tote with my Christmas bags and boxes. But I still lose the scissors while I’m wrapping presents! 😁
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Putting scissors and tape in the tote…why did I never think of that?
Incidentally, the first pair of missing scissors were under the couch. I have no idea how they got there.
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Hilarious. I think you did a great job. My husband does most of the wraspping because I wrap like a T-rex (honestly). I’m allowed to do cubes and cuboids at a push
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Yeah…being bad at wrapping is one of the reasons I avoid it.
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Ha! Good old gift bags
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I can hear little Seinfeld bass solos while reading this. 😁
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Sometimes I imagine that I’m living in a secret cosmic reality show. Lol.
Of course, “Amanda Logic” is the source of most of my goofy stories…
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Your in good company here lol!
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Amanda! The struggle of wrapping Christmas presents I’m tellin you! I’m only 22 so I’m definitely no expert. It’s never fun, never! Lol I think it’s refreshing to see that you are able to laugh at yourself and also share your experiences with us!
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When I find myself getting annoyed with situations, I often ask myself, “Will this make a good story later?” Then I’m able to look forward to telling the story, and that makes me feel better about the situation.
Also, if I couldn’t laugh at myself I’d be in a lot of trouble, believe me, because ridiculous behavior is one of my defining character traits.
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I love this! Thank you so sharing. You’re a great writer and I love your humor!
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Thanks, Megan. I used to write a lot, but haven’t in a long time. Part of why I started this blog was to motivate me to start writing again.
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Well keep it up! I never had any experience with writing but I’m really enjoying my blog and learning from others like you!
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Ditto in good company! Everything I do anymore goes something like that. 😀
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You know how Nelson Mandela said, “I either win or learn”? I like to try to either succeed or laugh. Or both. 🙂
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Good idea. 🙂
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Priceless!! We have scissors in every room in the house here too… three in the kitchen!
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I’m wondering how long it will take me to lose them all…
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I sense a follow up in Spring. 🤣😂🤣
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You are an extremely gifted comic writer. You had me laughing and nodding with you the whole time. I could picture it all. It would make for a great movie scene someday. Thanks for sharing and uplifting my day with a smile and a belly laugh.
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Thank you so much! I’m so glad you enjoyed it.
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This is great! I always lose the end of the tape so had to buy a tape dispenser this year and it’s amazing. Why I never thought of that before I never know ha.
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We never do think of the obvious solutions in the moment, do we? Story of my life…
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Thank you! from someone who stripped half a roll of tape across the room. I needed to be reminded to laugh with you. Oh and myself.
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I’m sensing a kindred spirit. 😉
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We won’t admit that. Tho I really enjoy a nicely wrapped package. Just never start it when you are tire.
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This is so funny and sounds like something I would do…except for scissors in every room, I only have them in 4 rooms….hahaha
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Thank you, Diane. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one. Lol. I had a lot of fun writing this post, and I’m almost looking forward to my next misadventure, whatever it is, because I’ll be able to share it.
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Damn! I don’t have labels!lol
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Take my advice: if you’re going to go buy some, take a complete inventory first, and make sure you don’t need anything else. Lol
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Good idea! I always worry right up until Christmas that I’ve forgotten something! Then on Christmas, nothing I can do,lol
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So fun! I enjoyed reading it. I’m going somewhat minimalist so I got rid of anything that I had a duplicate of. I have one pair of scissors and I keep it in the same place at all time. If I use them, I make sure to return them to where it’s supposed to be. Yay for Christmas bags!!
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I seriously admire people who always put things back where they belong. I keep trying to be one of those people…but I keep failing miserably. I seriously forget where I put something the second it’s out of my hand.
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skillful wrappings!
great movie, too,
especially if familiar
with Christmas Carol 🙂
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It was a great recommendation.
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Lol this was a movie ! Lolllll I was cracking up , haven’t wrapped any presents as yet tho so no snags to share.
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I hope your wrapping experience goes more smoothly than mine. 😉
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I’m one of the outwardly goofy folks! I keep that way to stay sane! Merry Xmas to you and your family!
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Good for you! I believe in owning your idiosyncrasies. Merry Christmas to you and yours.
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My keys, phone and scissors are things that I usually go on a hunt around the house for . And USBs sometimes also. Point being , we’re very similar 😂
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I like to think it makes me quirky and charming. Lol
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I’ll see your gift wrapping and raise you a room-painting!
http://www.ridiculouswoman.com/how-not-to-paint-a-room
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That’s a great post! I can totally relate. Lol.
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This is oe of those stories when I say, “You can’t write this stuff.” But, obviously, you can. Congrats on persevering. Allan
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Thanks, Allan. I’m the type of person who hates to quit…even though sometimes I should. Lol. Maybe I should write about that sometime…
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That’s my keys, my phone, anything I actually need at the moment! Soooo relateable!
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At work, I have a bad habit of setting something down on a shelf instead of on my desk, and vice versa. I can’t imagine how much time I lose looking for things.
And let’s not even talk about all the places I lose my reading glasses…including on top of my head.
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My family thinks I should have a tracker on just about everything!
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Oh gosh, I so relate to this. You are a kindred spirit x
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Today I put my keys in my pocket and later spent ten minutes looking for them. It never ends. Lol.
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